Low libido is a common part of the menopause experience—one that can be exacerbated by sleep loss, mood swings, and hot flashes. But if Deborah Vance or Blanche Devereaux are any proof, your sex drive isn't gone forever once you hit menopause. Even small adjustments to your routine can help you start feeling frisky again ASAP.
From sun salutations to a game-changing vaginal lotion, check out our favorite tips for restoring your sex life-both in and out of the bedroom.
To help you get in the mood in the moment:
1. Try some solo play
Here’s some news you can use: Masturbation can help potentially increase desire because it helps connect with your body and what makes you feel good. And thinking about sex (and doing sexy things, even solo) can help put you in the mood for even more pleasure. Using a vibrator has also been shown to improve vaginal lubrication, orgasm, and sensation for women struggling with arousal and orgasm. So time to block off your calendar for a few hours, turn down the lights, and get busy with your bad self.
2. Spend quality time with your partner
When trying to boost your libido, sometimes the stuff that’s not about sex can be the sexiest. Being emotionally connected with your partner can be a huge turn-on for many people, too. Prioritize spending time with your partner outside of the bedroom doing things you love, sharing new experiences, or just holding hands and cuddling while talking about your day. It’s simple, but these small actions on a regular basis can help boost the intimacy you share as a couple and lead to sex (and overall happiness).
3. Think outside the box
Despite what sex-ed class might have had you believe, sex is about more than just P in V. If soreness and dryness have your vagina down for the count, experiment with other sexual acts and positions to give yourself a break. Get creative with other ways to find pleasure, whether that's through massage, mutual masturbation, oral, or toys. You might just find something new to excite you and your partner.
4. Don’t forget the lube
When in doubt, lubricant is your best friend. It can enhance pleasure, reduce friction, and banish dryness. Use it before penetration and throughout sex and masturbation as needed to make the experience truly enjoyable. Bonus points for trying lube with CBD (a non-psychoactive cannabinoid), which may help women have better orgasms.
To help support your sex drive every day:
5. Get a good night’s sleep.
In case you needed any more incentive to prioritize your Zzzs: Not getting enough sleep has been linked to less sexual desire and arousal in women. Even just one extra hour can make a huge difference in your interest in having sex.
Make better sleep a reality in your life by creating (or refining) a nighttime routine to help your brain and body wind down for bed, starting with a regular bedtime and reasonably consistent wake-up calls, too. Avoid electronics as much as possible in the evening to eliminate the effect that blue light can have on your brain, and use blackout curtains, sound machines, earplugs, and other tools to block out light and noise once it’s time to hit the hay.
Herbal reinforcements can help, too: The Core Supplement, for example, combines stress-busting Ashwagandha with antioxidant Pycnogenol® for blood flow to help reduce night sweats.
6. Ditch down-there dryness.
Vaginal comfort is absolutely essential in boosting and maintaining your desire for sex, so consider directly addressing any dryness or pain during intercourse with a hydrating lotion or lubricant. "Keeping the area moist and also letting air flow, while not stripping the moisture-producing oils, is very important to maintain or re-establish that pH balance we want to have," explains Kindra Medical advisor Dr. Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz.
Kindra's Daily Vaginal Lotion, which was shown to reduce pain during sex for 91% of women after just two weeks of use, offers gentle relief, soothing the sensitive tissues down there to make bedroom activities all the more enjoyable. If you’re dealing with vulvodynia (stinging and pain in the genitals), check out the Kindra V Relief Serum, which couples a patent-pending peptide with hydrating hyaluronic acid to nourish intimate skin and make it less irritated.
7. Stretch (and relax!) your muscles.
Research shows that a regular yoga practice can strengthen the connection between your mind and body, increasing desire, arousal, and overall sexual satisfaction. Start your days with 10 minutes of sun salutations or another sequence you enjoy, and soon you’ll notice improved flexibility, stronger joints, and increased blood flow — all of which are conducive to a more satisfying sex life.
Plus, “the breathwork implemented in a yoga practice may help lessen anxiety, quiet the mind, and improve sleep quality," fitness expert Micki Harvard previously shared with Kindra. Unlocking those mental health rewards can open the door to better libido and help you find contentment in other parts of life, too.
8. Fuel your body with the right nutrients.
The food you eat has a direct impact on your energy levels, libido, and mood. Avoid foods with excess added sugar or saturated fats, and keep an eye on portion sizes to avoid energy crashes & that sluggish feeling after you eat. (Because there’s no mood killer quite like feeling gassy and bloated from a huge meal.) You might want to consider cutting back on booze, which in excess might affect women’s sexual desire and ability to orgasm.
As for what to put on your plate, try loading up on foods rich in zinc, which has been found to improve sexual desire and orgasm in postmenopausal women. Oysters, anyone?
9. Get in “the” mood by boosting your mood.
Stress and anxiety can majorly hamper your sex drive. Regulating the body’s levels of serotonin—known to many as the “feel-good hormone”—can temper anxiety, improve your mood, and enhance sexual desire, and there are many ways to do so naturally. A balanced diet, regular movement, and spending time out in the sunshine have all been shown to promote the mood-boosting neurotransmitter. A daily dietary supplement like The Core Supplement can also help you manage stress and ease other frustrations, like hot flashes or brain fog, for a happier you.
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